someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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