Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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