Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
