Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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