I bet he comes in French.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
