oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
