I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
