I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
