Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
