Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
