I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
