Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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