I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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