So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
