well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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