That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My cat gives me a boner
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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