I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
