Three words: puerto rican gang bang
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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