i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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