he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
