Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
where am i from again
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
