Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
