Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
