Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
