And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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