Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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