Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
