i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
