wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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