Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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