I cockslap morals
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
