I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
