Christians are straight up FREAKS
Non-Jews are for practice
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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