I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
