Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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