drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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