i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.