new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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So many bounce houses so little time
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face