There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
