She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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