OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
