Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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