I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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