What a fucking waste of an outfit
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
