I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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