I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
