i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
