so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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