It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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