They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
