I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
