booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
