So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
