how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
please come you make the beer taste better
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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