i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize