You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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