i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
