every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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