I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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