we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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