someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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