I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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